The Private Me

bored

2012-02-03T02:28:00.002+08:00

guess i'm back into blogging since ive deleted my twitter app for awhile. not the account, just the app, and i wont access it through the webpage. it's good to do something different sometimes. =p

i want a getaway, preferably a bag pack or smthg. ok.. don't laugh. i want to rough it out or something? hahas! somewhere different from here, no wifi is fine too~ simple simple lifestyle for a few days. different culture, something out of my comfort zone.

or will it be better if i can find a job that will send me overseas? HAHAS!

im trying~

无主题

2012-02-02T15:22:00.002+08:00

我不是那么想面对人，也不知道要面对谁。

好饿，不知道吃什么好，家里有什么呢？新年食品一大堆，可是又不想吃它们。

来点寿司皮萨如何？却懒得出门。

就这样悠游的过一天?做点功课，看看戏，慢节拍的生活步伐，听起来不错嘛。

好了，有些情绪想发泄，有些事让我懊恼，有些事让我定不下心来。。。

乐观点吧，不要再钻牛角尖了，加油吧！

美好的一天，睡到自然醒。啦啦啦啦啦

last day being a 21 year old

2012-01-02T23:04:00.002+08:00

time flies!
wish for a happier 22nd!!
will embark on an another new path pretty soon.

keep believing, and have the courage. =)
POSITIVE!!! x)

2012 yo!

2012-01-02T02:36:00.002+08:00

a very simple start, welcomed 2012 with my family, in front of the television. i guessed my parents stayed up late purposely, because my sister and i choose to stay at home this year... (alright, because i can't finish my work and i had a flu, don't want it to get worse).

went to jog just now! 4km.... will increase it to 8km by the end of 2012 ok! >.<

trying to finish my literature review so that i can send to my supervisor ASAP, before she return from her holiday.. and i need to skype with her ASAP too!!!

i will try to be positive, do what i have to, 3 more months, just bear with it and give my best.

hope~ no! make it happen! =)

tatas

last day of 2011

2011-12-31T19:11:00.002+08:00

sick~ -_-

i guess i've been pretty negative lately.

really hope i can be more positive for 2012! =)

finish up all that i need to, and hopefully i will do well!!

never give up on my goals and work harder to get closer to them!!!

new stuff awaits, embrace it with open arms, be happy! x)

HAPPY 2012 to all!!! xoxo

hey, hello.

2011-12-26T00:37:00.002+08:00

plenty of stuffs to do, but i can still go out and fun, awesome right?
3 months left.

fighting!!!!!

pretty lazy to put my thoughts down, even though i wished to.
maybe im just tired.
maybe im just worrying.

oh well~
what come will come.
hope for the best.

and may things go right. hahas!

it's december!!!

2011-12-07T01:43:00.002+08:00

wow, how time flies!!!! been so busy lately.
2 more modules and i won't be having anymore lectures.
same old thing, so many stuffs~

and i will be graduating very soon! >.<
ok, many things to do, and i'm really tired now.
update more when i have the time.

hopefully i am really working towards the better. towards my goal.

lalalas.

assignment curse?

2011-09-22T23:19:00.003+08:00

I am unwell again!!! -_-
I am not that weak right? =(

must be the "assignment curse!"

so i've got to finish 2 assignment by next week. (1 of it is a small part of fyp)
then it will be mugging for the 3 papers, yes yes! i just said mugging!
waiting for my two best friend to have their recess week so that they won't be in school all the time, then we will study together!

now i NEED to finish my assignment ASAP!
seriously hate how i waste my time. -_-
and i kept feeling sick, so i kept sleeping! and it is not like i feel better after i sleep, not at all!
not going to sleep already, will try to be productive today.

just a bit more to go!!! will graduate soon!
and what lies ahead?
unknown, but pretty interesting isn't it? many doors, and i have the keys to some.

what about those that i have no control and clue on?
i will just continue to wait,
patiently.
i will be good. =)

missing ah ma, can't wait to visit her soon.
i've manage to facetime with her whenever my uncle is at her place, most of the time my mum will chat with her, funny conversation!
looking forward to the arrival of another new family member! hehes!

just stop procrastinating already!
JIAYOU!!!! GOGOGO!
n be positive! x)

lalalalalalas.
<3

blessing in disguise

2011-09-12T23:02:00.002+08:00

i believe everything happen for a reason.

i might not like all the negative stuffs that happened, but somehow, good things will come after that. hahas! or even if it doesn't seems to get better, it is how i choose to perceive it, to learn from it and move on or just dwell on the same thing over and over again. i would choose the former one.

:)

work harder.

What are the chances?

2011-08-18T20:42:00.004+08:00

Have not update for so long!!! hahas! Loving my new haircut! =D

Exam's over. so now it is embarking on another journey. Looking back, I've really put in effort for the past few months, I kept feeling down and I think I didn't work hard enough. But the truth is, that's all I can give. All in all, I'm glad I didn't give up and had that journey. No doubt things happened, but well~ I think good more than bad. =)

I guess what lies ahead is still a question mark. I am quite certain though, what I wanted.
Just think less and do more please!

Dwelling on some stuffs, it is amazing how something/someone can affect my mood.

It is a secret, and it will always be. There is no reason why I should chase for it, not this, there's just too many obstacle that I don't think I can overcome.

I will most probably forget you very soon, I do hope so.

The answer to the title is, zero...

Someone right but at the wrong time.

Masterclass

2011-06-18T00:20:00.002+08:00

I've been to several concerts, at least one every guitar festival, but I've never been to a masterclass! That was my first time!!! I really want to cry when I stepped into the room, but that master was really really nice!!! She's so motherly! LOLS! Managed to be less frightened and played pretty ok. It all went well, even though there were some laughs, and I was freaked out by her question, but I manged to answer and learnt something! What's really useful is the simple exercise for my left hand. Overall, I'm really happy I went, had a sleepless night but all worth it! HAHAS!

Being an observer today was really relaxing, but it was too profound, because those that attend today are pros, one of the guy (or boy, he is very young) had a 17k guitar!!! It is not the most expensive, but at his age, the guitar he is using, like WOW. Anyway, back to the masterclass, I've learnt a great deal about music! Had dinner with the pros while waiting for the concert to start, I really couldn't join them at all! LOLS! They were talking and I just listen, I think it is good. Though I feel very inferior for my shallow knowledge, but I am listening attentively and trying to learn something from them.

The concert was great, not that I can appreciate all the piece, but I do enjoy certain pieces and I love the way she is enjoying while playing her music. =)

I can't help but feel inferior, but I told to remind myself that I am not a full time guitarist. HAHAS! But I don't think I know stuffs about business management very well either even though I'm a full time degree student. LOLS! There's just too much to learn!!!! So I have to make full use of my time, to learn, to enhance my knowledge and wisdom. =)

POSITIVE!!!
I don't want to compare nor think that people look down on me. I don't think my worth is judged by those people, so please, stop thinking and being paranoid about it. They don't help.

Any form of thinking or any thoughts that doesn't help will be prohibited.
=p

21 year old crisis

2011-05-22T01:45:00.002+08:00

Yes I think that's the crisis I'm facing now. -_-

HAHAS!

Future.
To enter the workforce is no doubt a very scary thought.
perhaps the scariest thing of it all is to enter into that pithole.
no matter how hard there are somethings i can't change, i realize towards certain things i just get super stubborn!!! i don't usually stop halfway, once i start i end it. that's the reason why someone who doesn't like sports that much remain in badminton for 4 years. my braces, i refuse to accept that fact, i kept thinking that it might change, after more adjustment it might just turn out well.

I guess it applies to my guitar too, i attend lesson for a year learning really nothing much, i shouldn't only have these knowledge given the grade i am at right now. it all goes to my guitar teacher for pushing me for exams, and surprisingly my fingers can move and ok im quite shocked by myself sometimes. i am far from average, but i think if i stay true to myself, perhaps what i've got right now is the best of the best that i can get given the effort i've put in.

working hard for the exam, but still not very hard. i need to be very patient, perhaps i have to play the same thing over and over again for 100 times then i can get it right, but still not perfect. perhaps to reach perfect, that will take another 1000 times. that is a level that i can't attain and i can only try hard to reach the maximum that i can right now.

i want to get over with this exam asap and then learn all the things that i missed out, my chords can't make it. i want to know more about music, gain more knowledge and insight. read more, see more, hear more! i think i need to work hard on this on my own, no more running man?! that is super addictive, my daily entertainment. =D

one year, one year later i will graduate. what kind of job do i want? what kind of life?
what is it that i really want?
do i really know it?
i think i do?
but can i do it?
will i go about doing it?
i've spent years thinking, what i've done?
is it really time now?
will i want to continue taking guitar exams after this? will i have the time? what kind of job can fulfill all that i want? will i be able to have both things tgt at the same time?
there are many question mark.

perhaps ur answer to me is that i stop all these questioning and start doing any bit that i need to.

what is it that i need to do right now?
what kind of life do i want exactly?

happiness.

my very own definition towards it, what do i want in life, my future?
i want to seek a kind of simplicity. possible?

it is not that im emo now, im not like depressed, im just troubled. there are things that i cant figure out and have no answers to. that kept me thinking, seeking for the solution. i am not down, really ok, just need to sort somethings out. which i think is really normal for me given my personality. i think a lot, but not in pessimistic/negative/bad ways. i expect more from myself now that im already 21. i dont want to live my life this way, i want to do more.

i am a very fortunate girl, i know that. i am not complaining that im not, it is just that i want to do something for myself? the future is in my own hands right? i hope my life has a better meaning to it. i've reached this crossroad, knowing that my youth will be gone sometime, knowing that life is really short and if there's anything that i ever wished or dreamed for, it has to be done NOW before they really become the past and who knows, doomsday.

if i do nothing to my life right not, i don't think that's called contented or satisfaction, it is wasting my life away. i hope they are not just hope.

i have a personality that contradict. HAHAS!
and i will just stop here not knowing if i should just end it here, =/
lazy to blog the rest down, or perhaps i've been repeating them for like a dozen times or more already? LOLS!

change ain't easy and it might be difficult.
but that is happening all the time.
the sky is the limit.

because i found that joy back again, i always found it back when i was lost. that dint really guide me out of the maze, in fact it leads me to another complicated playground... well~ that joy that i've found is going to push me on for quite some time again. =)

i always forget!!
but i always remember i have you, you and you. =)
lalalas, <3
(yes for you reading this)

10 years

2011-05-18T20:34:00.002+08:00

18 May 2001, my dearest grandpa left this beautiful world.

It wasn't easy for me to accept this fact, and my tears would flow whenever I think about it during the first few years. I didn't get to see him before he passed away. My big aunt's family get to make it in time, but my family only went back after he passed away. My mother went to the hospital to see him that morning but I couldn't tag along because I got school. This was my biggest regret, I couldn't digest this fact and this regret had been with me for many years. I remembered there was one true or dare session during secondary school days, I was questioned what was my biggest regret, I refused to answer, because it is something I can't say out without crying during then. But I guess, time heals, I don't feel so pain now.

I couldn't sleep for the whole night, and we rushed back the first thing in the morning.
I still remember somethings vividly and my tears is flowing down again...

It happened very quickly, it was just a few weeks, not years or months, and he left us just like that. I guess it was the end of a torture to him.

10 years... I believe the whole family got used to the life without him, but none of us forget him, he lives within us.

If there is another place that dead people goes, I hope he is happy there. We are all doing great here. =)

I love you my dearest ah gong, and I miss you.

Classical Music

2011-04-10T01:52:00.003+08:00

I guess this title itself and what is in my mind could be written into a dissertation (if only it's allowed).

There is so much to this thing and I am really curious to find out all. I like to know things, but I'm not an avid reader, I'm a lazy reader. I prefer conversations, people filling me with more insight in things and interesting facts.

All the period, composer stuffs, the history component are interesting, very often social happenings or politics, simply the live at that time, music are created. Palace lifestyle, performing for king and queen or entertainment during post war. All these created a music style uniquely representing that time.

My knowledge bank is certainly limited and I don't listen to classical music very often. It is not something I am passionate about, but something I find that really interest me and I like it. I can't possibly know everything, but slowly! :)

I don't want to be someone who has the cert but does not know much. I know I am not a professional music student, many people out there who learn other instrument might not know that much too. I just want to know more, be more knowledgeable. More importantly I guess understanding the background helps in playing, the expression that is uniquely yours.

Music is something... Really special. There are many aspects to it, knowledge is one part which I feel is lacking in non professional music student which is certainly acceptable and understood. Perhaps I need to watch a lot more performance to make any comment about practical side. I've not really hear a proper performance, but I heard someone practicing before and that really made me go 'wow'. Pretty unfair, because he is a professional pianist with a degree.

I guess good teacher do play a part, habits are cultivated, and it is not easy to change. I kept attending lesson with different classmates so I've seen a lot! Hahas! There is always a rationale behind the do and don't, not because the professional play this way or my teacher taught me this way. Experience it myself and I know why.

I still feel inferior, I know I am not up to it, I don't think I am. But I will work hard to be for it. I am learning each day and it feels good. I have hearing and timing problem. I can't tune my guitar quickly nor identify notes. I can't get my rhythm right, I always clap hand in class to get it, hahas!

And I supposed it will lead to my vocal problem, which I don't feel comfortable sharing most of the time. I will let it go of the bad memories and I hope I am not too old for it. Hahas!

I am very certain at this stage, what my priorities are. As long as I don't give up, it is still in my plan and I won't stop! Right now, I need to focus and concentrate.

I need to believe, very strongly.
I know I can, I'm sure I can.

Do more. T**** less.

day 4

2011-04-06T02:07:00.002+08:00

im trying to stay up late and have my antibiotics before i turn in.
i think this is bad, i should sleep so that i can recover soon!!!

still a bit swollen, not very serious but i can feel and see it, i don't like it! LOLS!!

supposed to have it at 4am, but think it is a hassle to put alarm clock and wake just to have that pill.

ok i dont care already, i will eat now.

the right side still hurts quite a bit x(
recover asap! had 3 days of rest, back to work! =)

i want to be super brave.

2011-03-24T23:19:00.002+08:00

courage, lots of it.

i guess my resilience level dropped tremendously!
i am very stress over guitar.
not only that 3 piece of songs, there are scales, and i need to take up aural lesson! there's also other components! and my fees, sighs. never mind, can earn back! =)

fret a lot over all the upcoming birthdays. hahas!

i am still trapped in a vicious cycle.
im reminded of somethings that night, and i don't like that.
i think there are somethings that i might not like to share or feel comfortable to share.
i don't wish that to have such a big scar on me, i want and i will get out of it. i don't have that talent that you talk about, i don't know whats that, but that doesn't mean i can't do it. thank you very much. i don't want to live in that shadow, in your shadow.

the care is genuine, just that there is the gap, this gap. i think it always happens.

im glad i can say somethings very calmly now, i no longer feel that way. but yes, i still find it a pity, but i know that's life. i really cherish all that i have now.

miss my clique so much! both sec sch n poly clique!
i supposed even though they are very busy and we hardly meet, a few of them are always the ones who gives me courage. <3

2009 live concert disc

2011-03-15T02:15:00.002+08:00

Released a few months ago, but I think the reason why I did not get it was because I use it as a motivation :p Hahas! so I've been looking for it after exams (I know I did not work very hard la...), and yeas I found it today! Hehes!! :)

I love penny dai. not just a normal idol, but someone whom I really admire and truly inspires me. x)

Her talent, passion and attitude. love her live performance, can't wait to watch the DVD! And I hope she will have concert in sg!! Or autograph session soon?!

I want to be like her, in a way. to keep pursuing and just don't give up. hard work, pure hard work.

She picked up guitar under the influence of her brother. She bought herself a piano as a birthday gift, learn on her own and started composing songs using piano.

Photography and directing was her interest too, she film her own mv and took her own album shots. Subsequently she helped other artists with their mvs and cover shots too!

She is not a big diva, but whatever she does, there's recognition gained. she might not be that famous across Asia, but she has her unique position. And she never stops doing what she wants.

I hope I can learn from her. No doubt, she inspires me everytime. Hahas! she just got that kind of ability and power to capture people's attention when she sing, 有感染力的表演.

I'm looking forward to her brand new album! Any new genre of songs? What msg will the lyrics deliver? what new things will she try out? Or old things? Hahas!! :p

我就是那么喜欢她，她的音乐，态度，热诚。
我也要努力去达到我想要的，也让自己进步，变得更好。

First entry via phone :p

2011-03-14T00:43:00.002+08:00

Blogging from my phone for the first time! Hahas!

Headache but I dont wanna sleep...
I guess I'm trapped in a vicious cycle.. I've been fighting with myself for the past few weeks. Last week was the worst, for some reason I felt pretty down. Sighs.

Positive mindset!!!!!
Brand new week, jia you!!!! x)

because i dont want to sleep

2011-03-09T23:54:00.002+08:00

i am extremely tired.
barely 5 hours of sleep.
rush to work, do all the mundane stuffs.
rush to lesson.

and my hand hurts even more now, all thanks to work.
sighs.
but it will end pretty soon, so no point saying i don't want to work.
no big bucks, but something, yeas better than nothing.

this month's allowance all went into guitar.
and i hope i can yield a positive return. hahas!

为什么我的eye candy从此不再出现？
那么没缘 x(

more hard work needed

2011-03-09T00:43:00.003+08:00

pain! i can really feel the pain and I can barely continue, guess I need my fingers to adapt to it..

lousy!! x(
i can't get it, it is just very difficult and i don't know how to put it.
just not my forte, it is those kind of song that i will need triple effort to master.

and i have to work harder!

lalalalalas.

overcome them

2011-03-05T01:07:00.002+08:00

we each got our own worries and troubles, things that make us stress.
i don't think it is fair to compare, because we are in different situation.

i feel lousy, inferior.
like ya~
lacking the knowledge and perhaps ability.

i hope i can overcome them all,
bad habits to be changed and all.

think less and do more.
JIAYOU!!!!!

i got to believe in myself.
x)

should i?

2011-03-04T02:00:00.003+08:00

should i get a camera or not?
let me think.

got to do up my budget wisely.
money is such a terrible issue.
sighs. easy to spend, hard to earn.
gonna be crippled by my guitar, dental and birthdays expense.

all i know is,
i need to know what i am doing, what i need to do, and make sure i am doing it.
and that's it.

死马当活马医

2011-03-02T22:50:00.002+08:00

that is what my guitar teacher says.

well well~

i am disappointed, in myself.
i think i kept going in circle~

and i want to be a 有救的马.

it seems like there is a lot of things,
but a thing at a time.

i really dislike myself for somethings, and i need to change.
i supposed i am already very fortunate, i know i am. =)
we all have equal chance and opportunities, i have my fair share in certain aspects, so I shan't dwell on what i'm missing, yep. =)

jiayou x)

another killer paper?

2011-02-24T19:46:00.002+08:00

i hope not.
don't wanna fail any module!!!!
will try my best. the whole notes is just so weird, textbook does not help either.
i suspect the lecturer quote the wrong textbook for us, or she got everything from various text and the one recommended is the one being used most often (which i highly doubt so).
makes me don't wanna study at all,
i've been staring into empty spaces for very long already.

but am still excited because holiday is coming! hehehehes
decided already, even mum is not very pleased with it, she said ok.
yeas!!!

i think time and money are what you can't have at the same time, usually.
having a lot of time for things, but no money for them
earn money so that we can afford things, but by then, we will have no time for it?
there is always exception, but well~

i hope for once i really put in effort and achieve what i aim for.

a week of torture

2011-02-23T01:02:00.004+08:00

bad headache in the noon..
not well prepared for the paper later~
ok, i still got like 12 hours, just sleep less ok. :)

sighs.
i just hope that i will pass all the 3 papers and friday 4.15pm please come ASAP.
then i will not talk about my year 2 anymore.

hopefully i learn my lesson.
no more last min work next time ok?

BA~~~ and the worse has yet to come.
IM. best lecturer ever.
the case study just made me feel that the exam is a gone case.
well well~

just look at the bright side.
it will all be over very very soon.

and i do hope i rmb how i am feeling now,
so that year 3 can be a better year. =)

will a leopard ever change its spots?

2011-02-21T23:30:00.002+08:00

i always do last min work, nothing new.
and i always get super nervous a few hours before my exam, no appetite to eat, nothing new.
i always blame myself at that moment, nothing new.
and i always commit the same mistake again and again, nothing new.

i am too used to it, and the truth is, i don't score well, but i did not fail..
then i will get complacent, forgetting about how i tell myself not to do it again the next time.

maybe i should just fail once so that i will learn my lesson,
but no... no matter how bad i score, i still pass, no pain of forward module, just a lousy grade to pull my overall results down, but still able to continue with the course and eventually graduated.

i am disappointed with my performance today, easy paper, all i need to do was to memorize.. but i could not, why? i only studied last night, i couldn't remember so many points~ i will definitely pass, but i want more than a pass? so why am i still not kicking my bad habits away?!

sighs.
i don't think luck is something that will not be used up.
i won't be lucky all the time.
i really dislike that anxious feeling i got a few hours before the exams, and the sleepless night.

i can't wait for the last 2 papers to be over, will still be last minute work, but there is still somethings that i can do. so will try my best.

wanna enjoy my holiday, actually no, it will be another level of stress. but that is another issue.
i hope for the next assignment or exam, i will put in more effort and not do last minute work again, literature review for my dissertation during my holidays? ah, but the thought of it is so SIAN!

just 2 more papers, can't wait for fri. hehes! =)
i wanna k!!!

x( bored

2011-02-19T00:53:00.004+08:00

ok, not like i have nothing to do.
but i just feel bored.
maybe because it is quite late and i have no one to talk to. ahahas.

just facing the notes alone is really BORING.

i am super slow~
x(

it will be over real soon!

anyway, i really dislike it when people ask when my braces can be removed...
it is not like i dont want to remove leh!! =(
what makes me really dislike it is because mum is the one who is always questioning me and then she will start to nag, which is the part i dislike. so i am quite traumatized by that question.. =/

i don't really like people asking me about driving license too.. i know that is like very common, so people just ask. not angry at those who ask, but it just makes me sad~ i want to learn very badly la! =( but i have insufficient cash flow for it.. i don't blame anyone, it is my choice, i choose to invest my time and money on my guitar, so yeas~

a slacker.

2011-02-18T01:21:00.003+08:00

enjoyed new year goodies and fell sick again
hahas! but it is better this time round. =)

exam next week!
just one week of it and less than one week away from it but i am still slacking!
i refuse to study really.

what i want to do?
i don't know.

i always make the same mistakes.
even for my guitar too. if not for a super nice teacher who will always push me.
am i really a 21 year old ADULT?!

i must try harder, FORCE MYSELF!!!
i can't wait to graduate, but at the same time i don't want to graduate as well~
hahas!

it will all be over real soon.
i must revise a bit more before i turn in today.

i wanna go k~

cough is the killer

2011-01-27T21:49:00.002+08:00

what a time to fall sick =(
cough is super irritating!!!!!!!!

got so many things to do!!!!
did not have enough rest, kept feeling sleepy..
argh, i want to enjoy the concert on sat!! x(

birthdays~
busy busy!

cny! i hope i don't have to miss out the good food x(

practice guitar and off to bed! =D

it comes with responsibility.

2011-01-22T01:39:00.003+08:00

if i choose to take up the challenge, i will not back out.
ok, unless the person quit~
HAHAS!

it is supposed to be a fun thing, but there is a lot of stress!!!!
but it is an experience. so yeas~

i will try my best to play my part..
it ain't easy! it comes with a lot of responsibility!!!
i will try my best!
supposed this should not give me so much stress, not my main priority!

get the things right...

i am certainly qualified. =p

让我 emo 一下下

2011-01-20T22:39:00.003+08:00

i often complain to my guitar teacher.
i've been learning for so long, but what can i play?
i am not improving at all.
i feel very lousy!...

but he will always tell me that i can, that practice is all i need..

i supposed... my progress during my grade 7 exam made him feel that i have the potential to do one more grade.

why am i still procrastinating?
my bad habit~ seriously...
i've been telling myself the same thing over and over for years.
but look,
where am i?

am i really determined?
why is it that my friend tell me so? but am i really?!
i doubt myself. (in guitar~)

i know very clearly where the problem lies, but i am not doing anything to solve it.
i've got lots of support, encouragement.. really a lot.
even my guitar teacher is so supportive of me...
it is me.

the problem lies in me..
it seems that this is a stage that i will always be in, only when i move out then i will be able achieve.
it is not literally that i've done nothing, no improvements, no achievements..
but they are the past, i know very well there is something forward that i aim for.

it just seems like i've slacked a lot.
what are my struggles?
inner struggles.

i think i can do better, no. i know i can do better.
it doesn't change overnight...
but it is getting clearer~

i will increase the timing progressively. aiming at 2,4 and then ultimately 6.
i hope i don't disappoint.

if giving up ain't what i want, i've worked hard to be qualified for it, it is time to work hard to get another merit or better. =)

learn from my mistakes.

2011-01-16T00:34:00.003+08:00

i must make sure i am up to it.
if i am not to the standard, i must make sure i work very hard to be there.

very often i dwell on my mistakes. i forgot about learning from it.
it made me quite down for a long time....
i just feel very inferior from it.
i should learn from it right?
forget about it, human do make mistakes.. what matters is did i learn from it?

so forget about the bad incidents today.
i know i can do it, i believe i am up to it.
so i must work hard towards the goal.
just be better and better each time.

approach all things with courage and confidence. =)

JIA YOU!!!!
it will all turn out fine.
i have half a year to work things out properly, and i know i can do it.
no doubts. =p

run away from home

2011-01-12T23:54:00.002+08:00

oh wait.
i can't.

i don't want to stay at home now.
i want to be out.

i really don't want to stay here now.

i am learning to be a mute.
i don't want to talk much.

i think bad things happen, there will always be a time for the good and bad.

but i really don't know what had happened.
i really don't want to care.
really don't care.

i always explain to people whom i care.
but i think, i shall save it too.
they will appreciate it more if i can keep my mouth shut.

maybe from today onwards i should effectively use this resource of mine at a meaningful place.
to just invest it in doing what i like and enjoy, just stop talking, mute in a way, but still able to sing.

but i don't know what had happened, it really puzzled me a lot, why so drama?
i don't want to care, just keep me out of it.

i hope, i really really really hope.
but i know after awhile, it might just be come true.
after i graduate? in a years' time?
i always have this thought, because i think it is better.
i want to learn to be independent too.
by then, i might miss times like this.. but i want to go out, out of my comfort zone, to see the world. i don't want to live in the greenhouse anymore...

back to school!

2011-01-04T00:50:00.002+08:00

ok, i had lots and lots of fun for the past few days.
so many things that i want to put them down.

need to blog about them and upload all the photos!
i am so happy! =D

it is time to go back to school!
2 more modules.
1 more assignment.
3 more conf.
3 more papers.
and i will be done for my year 2.
GOGOGO!

had a very great break.
from school and guitar.
it is time to do what i should.
to play my role well.... as a student, and as a teacher =)

i hope it doesn't take too long for me to blog them and upload all the pictures!!!
i always skip this for the past few years.
but i am sure, i will not forget!
TOO MEMORABLE!!!

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3

last day being a 20 year old

2011-01-02T23:53:00.001+08:00

ok, i think i've reflected enough about my 2010 and my 20.

im a bit nervous towards my 21st.
i don't know why.

SUPER EXCITED TOO!!!!

there was a big surprise, a very big one.
i will blog more about everything soon!!! so many pics to upload and such.
i cried for a few times these few days!!!

im loved. x)
going to be 12am SOON!!! wooohooooo!!!

bye bye 2010

2010-12-31T15:36:00.002+08:00

2010 ain't a bad year for me, at least i think some downs are really inevitable.
where should i recap from?
i only know that i kept dwelling on certain stuffs this short break. HAHAS!
maybe because i am entering another phase in life (somehow), so i am a bit nervous and i want somethings to happen quick.

i realize from a pessimist, i've become an optimist.
but i still worry a lot, i still think, that is part of me. i tend to worry a lot.
it is just growing up, realizing many aims and goals are only empty saying.
i really think i am doing very very little, such that i am very guilty, and i think i am going in circle. not doing anything again and blaming.

it is not literally that i've done NOTHING, i did some stuffs, but i think maybe.... i expect more from myself now... but i can't really judge, it is because my expectation grew or i am really stagnant.

i always don't want myself to forget, i still did not.
but it really seems like i have no confidence and no courage.
and that worries me a lot.
i think i've slow down this year.. LOLS! no more rushing 2 assignment at a time and such.
school is ok for me, in fact i really slack a lot~
i guess i let those external stuffs, superficial stuffs to pull me down, i tend to dwell on them a lot. it ain't easy, knowing and doing are really different things~ LOLS! i am quite aware of that negative side, and i need to try harder to overcome.

sometimes i compare and i feel inferior. but i think, i do have my forte, and every life is a different story, with different encounter. i believe, as long as i stick to my beliefs, i will get there. no? i hope for the best. =)

ok~
looking back~
i've graduated in 2010, and started a new phase! hahas! i don't really enjoy my uni life, quite boring. and i think i am anti-social~ HAHAHAS! =p but at least now i've got time to do some other stuffs! =)

did overseas cip, which i miss quite a lot. and it seems i just stopped there, yes yes i am very guilty over it. but i don't think i must really take part in such activities to give care and concern, it can happen everyday, anytime! spread the love! =) small acts of love in daily life is just as significant, if not more.

graduation trip with my fav clique! really really awesome time spent tgt. i think there are some unhappy incident, but all i can rmb are the happy ones la =) my ji pai!!!! sharing food, doing our hair, overnight k, umbrella incident, the only visitors at the beach, those beautiful flowers, long walk, shopping, sleeping on bus... and everything! i hope 2 years later we can go there together again =)

i finally had an office job! met really nice colleagues and managers! =) great experience, not really the job itself, but with the people i met. hahas! =)

nearly gave up guitar, nearly... went for intensive theory lesson, AND I PASS!!! with MERIT! awesome right? =D now i can continue my guitar. hehes! =) i must brush up on my guitar skills! i think i am giving myself a break completely from studies and guitar. i do need that. hahas!

started some new things. i think just try, no harm.. was quite scared, still scared though.... but i think one of it is going the right way. hehes. good exposure, good experience =)

i get to spend time with my family, i always have dinner at home with them, and i know they love me a lot. they are planning something for me! hehes! quite excited! =p

my friends are super busy! but we will still catch up as and when, once in a while (a long while LOLS). they are friends that really matters to me.. i hope we will meet up more often in 2011 ok? =)

i want to push myself further, to try new things or do things that i always wanted but for some reason, did not try or go ahead. i might be a little late for somethings, but never too late right? hahas!

looking forward to my 2011! =)
welcome anything that comes.
x)

for a change

2010-12-30T23:37:00.003+08:00

ai yo, no more fireworks =(
my friends are really busy!
been finding people to go shopping with me these days, to no avail..

maybe i am hoping that a lot of changes can take place.
and things can just go the way i want.
sometimes i feel ugly. i really don't like my braces, my eye circles, my complexion.
hahas! =p
ok, superficial stuffs.

the hairstyle i wanted won't suit me, then i don't know what else already. so i leave it to the hairdresser. =) anything, for a change, try new things.
because my hair will grow. and i am still young, ya la still quite young ok! =p
i know it gonna get quite a lot of laugh.
not really my style or kind of thing.
but i just want something new and maybe, different. HAHAS!
so there it is.
i can't figure it out yet, haven't wash. and i am those lazy people, need to blow or style is trouble to me. (still say want to da ban -_-)
but i think the fun part is how my friend will react. LOLS!
so yeas, i think it is really for a change. HAHAS! quite unexpected for myself to do it too, but i think when i was there, nothing was on my mind, except getting that old hairstyle changed.

nahs, no regrets =)

2010 is coming to an end, soon.

2010-12-29T00:42:00.003+08:00

looking forward?
LOLS!
50 50 i guess.

i enjoy such times, pure slacking.
i did tidy my things, but i really have no idea why i got so many stuffs (well kept in the cupboard). and i cleared my wardrobe, sort of.
but my mind won't stop thinking! so i got many random thoughts, worries, which is not a good thing~ hahas!

going to do a summary for 2010 and resolution for 2011! will look back at my 2010 resolution. LOLS!
will be spending the nye with ivy and ruth! =)
4th time with ruth and 3rd with ivy. (if i didn't remember wrongly).
yeaaas fireworks! hehehehes! =)

im hungryyyy..

what do i want?

2010-12-27T01:43:00.002+08:00

i don't expect much.
and i don't know what i want.
HAHAS!!!

or maybe i do.
but no need to stress/trouble anyone over it.

it is the festive season, everyone's busy, so yeas.
i always think it is the thoughts that counts.
and i still think so.

keep it short.

2010-12-23T02:01:00.002+08:00

too many things that i want to blog about.
hahas!

all i think is i do know.
and that is enough.

yep x)

perhaps sometimes i dwell too much into somethings,
which is not helping!

i know who will be there at different times.
no one play all the role, but all play different roles.

i hope and wish for something.
a secret =)

ok, off to bed.

SINGING IS LOVE x)

2010-12-19T22:25:00.004+08:00

i just found out a way to make minus 1 on my own!!!
YEAS!!! x)

can record a lot more songs now!
HEHEHEHES!

hearing people giving me comments makes me happy.
and the thought of sharing it with people makes me very excited too! (when im only sharing with close friends)

found the way to create minus 1, EVEN HAPPIER!
and i just wanna record and record. LOLS! share it with friends or even more people and hear their comments on it. good or bad, so that i can learn!

music makes me happy.
and singing is my ultimate love.
it is not something that i will say out loud, not until recently.
i still will not say it to everyone. but close friends know that without me saying right? =p

a few, really a few very very close ones know what my fears are, and what is holding me back.
it is still with me, i will still feel sad over it.
but i found more confidence in myself, not THAT THAT much, but a bit.
most importantly, it is what i truly love, and it makes me happy!
like really happy and excited. LOLS!

so here i am. blogging it down.
i don't want myself to forget, this moment, i really want to be very courageous.
and i am very certain about it.

so i think, it is really time to voice it out loud. =)

i am pan ying.
and all you need to know is, i love to sing.

lesson learnt?

2010-12-19T17:33:00.001+08:00

because i always manage to get away with it.
manage to submit on time and yeas still able to pass..
worse report ever. really.

emo~

but with the amount of effort i put in, what i expect right.
i just hope i can pass, just pass also ok...
will emo again when the results is out.

forget about it.

enjoy my short break!
do all that i need to do!

first present!

2010-12-17T21:54:00.004+08:00

received the first present!!!
from my dad!!!!

makes me wanna cry..
it is wrapped up by his friend, so funny!!!
i don't think i will open it, but i am so tempted to find out what it is!!!!!

SUPER HAPPY!
x)

my ah ma also gave me a red packet last sat. hehes! x)

i must hide the present and don't think about it!
otherwise i will just open it!!! *xin yang yang
HAHAHAS!

i want my left hand to be stronger.

2010-12-13T22:11:00.002+08:00

enjoyed the mini concert, see those pro.
i feel so inferior!!!!
my performance is bad, if not for my teacher who cover for me,
i skip one part, LOLS!
my stage fright!!!! i think my fingers couldn't move for tremolo. LOLS!

but my teacher told me i've improved!
so maybe i should feel less bad.

inferior is when you know you are not anywhere near good, you know that there are so many things that you don't know.
i can't appreciate those study piece, etude. or those super long and slow piece.
neither am i familiar with those composers.
too many famous pieces, i barely know even a tenth of it.

i must continue my hard work.
to go up to another level. and to make sure i am up to it, good for it.

so i guess in the end i still learn a lot.
that is to work harder and be better!
to play guitar better and have more knowledge in it.

but not only for guitar.
for what i want to pursue.
i guess what was taught today did motivate me.

i need more confidence. LOLS!

life cycle

2010-12-12T21:32:00.003+08:00

death is part of life.
just as the news of a newborn brings happiness, the news of someone passing away brought pain.

whether i know the person or not, hearing someone passed away makes me upset.
many of my elder relatives passed away, but i did not attend all the wake.
as far as i can remember, i attended 4, up to date.
1 of which is someone very dear to me, and all i know is, we kept crying.
it was certainly something very painful, because it happened quickly.
it still hurt sometimes just thinking about it.

i don't know if there is a difference in malaysia's or singapore's funeral. i supposed it is the religious or even the dialect that determines the ritual performed as well... seeing the loved ones of the deceased crying, it makes me wanna cry.. if i were to be in that shoe, i don't know how i would react..

i don't like seeing funeral or attending wake, it makes me pretty upset.
很沉重.
i don't know why.

生老病死其实很正常。
but i think it is still hard to let go, and it definitely hurts.

as random as this entry might seems,
i went to send a relative off today...

fickle minded me

2010-12-06T01:13:00.004+08:00

i think when it comes to certain stuffs, i just get very indecisive. hahas!
ok, now i can't decide to get it or not.
i don't know whats stopping me as well. =/
i wonder why i feel so upset over it last night.
i guess maybe it wasn't the physical thing that i am actually asking for.

and i realize that i supposed... no matter what, they are going to support me.
just like how mum kept asking me to give up, but still wake me up for lesson and still give me my pocket money every month so that i can pay for the fees.
i think the intangibles that i want will be given somehow, one day.
=)

so now the physical stuff itself is not of importance.
ok, let me think. hahahahas!

it is the same thing over and over again~
it is time to put a stop to it.

many things to do!
got a mini informal guitar performance, and i always prepare very last min for it.
never fail to get "stage fright", i want to give it a miss, but no!!! not allowed.
the thought of it scare me a lot already. =/
can't wait for the xmas break!
kept wanting to have fun only. hehes!
lalalaalas~

yeassss k tml! =)
singing is the ultimate love. x)

spoiled brat?

2010-12-05T01:47:00.003+08:00

supposed i am turning in, shut down my laptop already..
but i am really wide awake, so here i am.

i am not a spoiled brat, or maybe i am.
i feel quite upset over it.
that is the only thing i ask for but it was rejected.
alright, i think i can't use "only thing i ask for", because i've been asking for many things since i was born.

i think i kept expecting something, but somehow i know i am expecting too much and they just won't happen. so perhaps that explains why i am so upset now as well.
THINK TOO MUCH AGAIN!
WORRY TOO MUCH!

i really hope i have that kind of courage to just say everything out, let all the cats out of the bags.

uh, ok. nvm. just leave everything aside.
accept everything as it is.
the pros and cons eventually offset somehow.

20 years 11 months.

2010-12-03T22:14:00.002+08:00

as it draw closer, i kept thinking what i've been doing for the past 20 years and 11 months!!!
and what's ahead.

thinking what i've achieved up to date, and what i am doing now.
most probably i will get my degree is another 1.5 years, and my grade 8 in 1 year.
that is if nothing goes wrong.
and what else?

i wanna remove my braces asap, i accepted the fact that alright, the alignment will be flawed, i am very tired of people asking me. i think i really refuse to remove it hoping that it will just be better somehow, but it won't. i was told that perhaps i should just go for the operation, but i don't think it is wise. i don't want myself to go through more pain, and not like it is really very serious that an operation must be done. never mind, i live with it.

i kept thinking i am doing very little, very very little.
i kept going in a vicious cycle lately.
telling my dearest the same thing over and over again.
the truth is because i am panic.
having no significant achievements to be proud of in my past 20 years and 11 months.
not like i lead my life aimlessly, and not that i achieved nothing. the keyword here is significant. and i would define that as fulfilling my "dreams", my goals, my aim. that big picture. of course completing my education till this point is something, passing guitar exams is also something, but does not really amount to achievements that i am really proud of. or maybe, it is just that time has passed and that sense of satisfaction has gone, because i kept moving on and i kept expecting things. i just feel that i've not done anything that i feel proud of lately. really, none.

i think life after i graduated from sp is such that i really put my vision in the future.
i have a problem, i know what i like and what i want to do, i have the end in mind, but i don't know how to get there, what path to take? the process is not clear at all. and that worries me a lot. i supposed thinking and worrying too much is my weakness now. LOLS!

the truth is that i will officially be an adult soon.
and i know i don't have anymore time to waste.
i am afraid that my "dream" will only be literally a dream.
yeas.

my progress is too slow, and i am really no where near.
im so worried.

but no matter what, i never thought of giving up.
though itself does not amount to anything though,
action is the key.

i think i am blogging the same things lately.
it shows how this whole thing occupies my mind.
HAHAS!

i know things will just fall into place somehow, with hard work, and worry will bring me no where, certainly not my desired destination.

with hope. =)

还有很多要改进的地方

2010-11-28T18:05:00.002+08:00

i don't think things change overnight, not certain things, not that easily.

there are still many things that i need to work on.
i think i am having some sort of expectations on myself, because i am turning 21.
i think it is really significant, in a sense, i am no longer in my teenage years, no longer having anytime to waste, because i will bear more responsibilities, and in time to come, i should be the one supporting my parents, no longer the other way round. and at the same time, i live for myself, not for anyone else, there are somethings that i hope for, and i hope they are not literally just dreams. but dreams that do come true, will they?

it is now or never, and i feel very strongly about it.
there are somethings that you won't do anymore when you reach a certain age or certain stage, no? i think i am not there yet, still young to pursue, but procrastinating any further will just lead me to the stage where it is really no longer suitable. keyword here is unsuitable, not impossible. but at that stage, the courage requires will double, if i can't do it now, i don't have confidence that i can do it when the prime time past.

i am often in this dilemma.
and my few dearest ones who know about these will always encourage me, to stop me from losing hope. thank you. there are many things that i have to work on, to improve on. maybe i am not trying hard enough.

it is true that i think a lot but i am not longer that pessimistic. nevertheless, there are still certain aspects that i need to work harder in. i don't have much patience and i don't have a good temper.

jia you! x)

magic spell

2010-11-24T02:54:00.002+08:00

hello, it is 2.54am now.
once again, i am doing last min work for my essay assignment.
836 words written.
need to hit minimum of 2000 words.
a lot to write, but it is so tedious! information all over the place, need to switch between documents and scroll up and down to just support one point. well well~

time like this i really hope i know some magic spell.
you know, like some special spell...
alakamasalaas, den TADAH!
assignment done! =D

ok, a more realistic way is just continue forcing myself to concentrate on the report.
holiday is not coming, after this there is one more report. but, i am really in a holiday mood.
i just want to have fun!!!
go to all the places and do all the things! fun things!

ok, i shall be good. everything by 4pm,
i can right? i don't know if i am doing it the way it should be done, but i can't be bothered already. i think it can be done this way, so yeas.
just finish it.

movie, k, good food! =D
can't wait!

我所向往的所有

2010-11-21T00:15:00.001+08:00

会是怎样的？
和我想象的接近吗？

是什么颜色的？什么形状？什么味道？
会是什么？

会到来吗？会到来吧。
所有的一切。

面具

2010-11-18T23:03:00.002+08:00

手上的气球明明五颗你说你有八颗他们也都会相信~

一切都是假象不是你们想像
无所谓真假社会本来就是这样
被误会又怎样被伤心又怎样
玩不起这游戏的人就请靠边站
狗狗嗅觉非常领敏
可以闻到很多东西却又色盲黑白分辨不清
观众也就跟着相信
最重要的是对的起自己不变的道理
高手过招带着面具谁能博得同情谁赢
我回家去打坐去修身养性
沉默的人最聪明不做无聊的回应

有些人很假很虚伪
你喜欢也好，不喜欢也罢
我就是我
不是那种嚣张的态度，而只是想做自己，舒服的自己
因为我不喜欢那种人，所以我希望我不会变成那样

in my own world.

2010-11-16T20:27:00.003+08:00

politics is everywhere.
i don't want to be involved, i am super anti social.
i am. but i think if you know me, you know what kind of person i am.
i don't initiate to say hi or wave to anyone that i am not close with.
i live in my own world, see my own things, do my own things.
the irony is at the same time i care how others will think of me.
but the thing is, really, you need to know me, talk to me to know what kind of person i am.
but even if you talk to me once or twice, you will form your perception of me, by all means.
i do care, but that doesn't stop me from being myself. i don't act the way i don't feel comfortable with, that is me.

i don't want to get involved in it, saying anything won't be right.
pretend i don't know anything, but if others were to stereotype and think that of me as well, whatever.
i just want my 2 years to be over asap i think.
i really miss my close ones. =(

i have a few friend who really hear all my rant almost all the time.
i have this group of friend who will always give me support even though they might be absent sometimes. they matters a lot in a way, more than my family. because they are the ones who really support me and will praise me. =) they know what i love, ok i let them know what i love, and they really gave me support, trusting that i can more than i do. awesome right.
my family love me, no doubt on that, but they don't really know what i love, the me in their eyes is the girl that talk back forever, not someone who voice out because she has something to say and something she want to fight for, understanding. and, the girl with no 天份. i think that result in a low self esteem me, for very long, if not for my awesome friends... i won't have the courage.. yeas~ it is still insufficient now, but i am trying very hard, very very hard.

i hope i can reach my goals, not just by hoping itself, but really working hard for it!
=)

if it is so hard on you, don't have to acknowledge that fact, i am ok with it. don't act like you are the perfect one when you know very well that you are hiding something. i knew it, but i didn't tear your mask down, there is no need to be so arrogant.

按兵不动。我所有的兵没有空去管别人的事，也没有空去为其它事打仗，我的兵只为一个叫做梦想的领域努力奋斗，坚持不懈。

time flies, and in 2 years' time i need to work.
i hope i can fulfill certain things by then.
it will be great if i can work overseas! =)
or move out for awhile.
i think i need and want to spend some time away from home.
maybe by then i wouldn't want to be away from home, but i think i am in my comfort zone for too long. and...

one fine day

2010-11-14T18:15:00.003+08:00

i hope.

i hope i will be able to voice it out loudly, the way how i always want to say but never did.
i hope it can be understood.

and i also hope....

Rings

2010-11-11T22:40:00.003+08:00

i am tempted to buy rings again! hahahas!
sometimes i will buy a few at one go and tell myself to stop from then on,
because i usually buy for keep sake? LOLS! i just love the design, sometimes the size might not be right, or i only wear them occasionally? most of the time, i stick to one. hahas!
and i've been wearing this current one for more than a year already, can't remember how long, but usually i change one once a year. LOLS!

started buying rings since secondary school, so i do have quite a lot of rings by now. LOLS!
i just got this habit to look at rings and buy them when i fancy the design. hahaas! ok, but they are not really costly, i don't buy diamond rings, just those normal one, so affordable. =)

just got the urge to buy rings these days when i am out. HAHAS!
the accessories that i purchase the most and the only one that i will wear almost all the time i am out.

that agnes b could no longer be found already i guess. LOLS!
but nvm, i decided not to buy it then, just thought of dropping by the store as and when to admire it like then. LOLS!

anyway it is 光棍節 today.
hahas!
=)

just 1 hr everyday.

2010-11-11T00:14:00.006+08:00

i kept banging into things and tripping over curbs and such.
-_- i need to be more alert. LOLS! but i think the way i bang and trip over stuffs is quite funny..
=/

4 wisdom tooth, 3 came out already.
need to extract, plus minor surgery. just imagine cutting my gums to extract the teeth, PAIN!!
i really dislike the dentist. =(
irony. still went to put braces. ahas~

ok i don't like some thoughts i am having now.
i guess it is a part of me.
i need to work harder.
feel extremely bad and guilty..

i need to learn all those stuffs.
it takes time.
i got to be a bit more patience with myself.

felt really stupid to know that i've been making the same old mistake all along, it become a habit already. really have to consciously tell myself to change. but i think it is this way, when you reach a certain level, the breakthrough to next is a lot harder than before. it go back to all the basics, seriously, it is about doing those basic stuffs well, or near perfection. dynamics, the kind of strength, coordination. simply everything. i never do finger exercise or practice scales for so long before. so many "steps", but it is all these simple stuffs that will make me improve! otherwise blind practicing might not be that effective anymore, especially if i cultivate more bad habits.

i can really feel the pain these 2 days, not a good thing, but not a bad thing either. i've not been practicing for too long, i strain it too much suddenly and i am not use to it. but it is also due to not exerting the right amount of force. i am not doing it correctly, and i realize a biggest mistake of it all, quite angry with myself. pretty stupid.

but maybe i should be stricter with myself in certain areas and more lenient in others.

i think i care too much sometimes (on certain stuffs that should not be focused)
well~

just keep my sight on my goals.
锁定目标
all the way.
x)

just look forward and go the way i should.

2010-11-10T00:18:00.002+08:00

i kept doubting,
worried that this choice is wrong,
that it is not a good choice.

but frankly speaking, what is a better choice?
what other ways do i have?

the truth is known, the goals are clear.
then what am i waiting for?

i feel extremely guilty, for repeating my mistakes again and again.
and i know that by not changing, i am just stupid, yes stupid.

i hope i can work harder.
i hope for many things,
and i don't want them to be just HOPE.

action.

will go to work soon, i realize i can't just focus on one thing at a time, and i need to get my guitar exam fund up. LOLS! it is time. =)

i think i've not practice so hard for guitar for a very long time.. my hand hurts a little today. LOLS! was really frustrated with myself at the start, really angry!!! LOLS! but ok, i think i got the momentum now, hehes! did some research on the piece im playing and some guitar stuffs as well.. must keep this momentum going! i want to master a lot of things in the next few months, can't be a noob, only know exam pieces during exam and forget everything after that. LOLS! press full bar perfectly, play all the slurs, hammer and pull with sound produced! dynamics is something i need to work on, speed as well. i can't wait to learn the harmonic part, hehes! the tedious way to practice scales is super effective! yeas, productive practice today! hehes!! x)

despite anything, at the end of the day, it is the same old thing.
so, please work hard, think less, worry less.
things will fall into place on their own somehow.

i hope all my loved ones are happy and healthy! =)

painful.

2010-11-08T23:26:00.002+08:00

it was really shocking to receive this news.

i hope it will turn out to be fine

whatever it is, i hope everyone will be strong to face it.
it never occur to me that it is such a difficult thing,
and now i see it, from the past few months till now....
it might seem to be a natural process, it might still be, but a difficult one.

i really look forward to it, i think everyone else too...
it's been so long.....

i still look forward to your arrival, and i hope that day will come.
be strong ok =)

sour leg

2010-11-06T03:01:00.002+08:00

walked a lot for the past 2 days!!!

the artworks at marina bay are awesome!
fascinated by the technology, and i really love some of the works.
all the works are really hard work of the creator and there is always a message they want to convey via their work.
art, passion, =)
had a lot of fun, walking around, chatting and eating. hehes!

the same goes for today, walked a lot! got the urge to buy new clothes! but i was too lazy to try on and i don't really like the crowd... makes me very tired. LOLS! need to squeeze, can't walk comfortably nor shop in a pleasant environment~

ate sweet potato fries and yan shu ji for 2 consecutive days! i miss taiwan! LOLS!

another day out tml! potluck! x)

i really enjoy chatting with some of my friends.
i like it when i can share somethings when i use to keep them to myself.
i like the encouragement they never fail to give and also that kind of support.

you know that i won't give up,
many of you know.
there are a few in particular that really gave me the courage.
i appreciate them a lot.
they are very important =)

2 more months!

2010-11-03T22:34:00.003+08:00

mum kept asking me what is my plan.
i have no idea. in fact i kept saying the same thing to her.
the credits goes to them, they deserve a celebration more than i do. hahas!

but i do have a list of stuffs to be done before it comes.
so i hope i will get them all done asap! hahas!

there is always so many wants,
and ok, i've decided... i will go for it LOLS!
the thought of money worries me a lot. i don't wanna elaborate on it, lols!
but anyway, money can be earned as well.
so yeas~ get ready to work next year during my long holiday! =)
then many problems can be solved. hehes.

been committing myself to it for so long. 5 years, going to 6. and still counting.
it is like sitting on a roller coaster ride, yeas~

fixed.
very certain.

year 2 sem 2

2010-11-01T23:49:00.002+08:00

no holiday~
lols!

but i think it is alright.
just that i have to get into the mood to work harder this time.
2500 word report due in 3 weeks! LOLS!

i supposed i need to commit a lot more in my guitar.
music stuffs =)

i wanna cut my hair again!!! hahahahas!
long already! =(

i think it is the way you perceive things,
and i choose to see it in another way.

and i wanna go to k again! LOLS!!! =p

the goal remains unchanged.
and i know the way to it, only i know the way. =)

all done

2010-10-31T00:50:00.003+08:00

all my papers are over!!!
tried my best so yeas~
=)

i am extremely tired,
but i don't want to rest.

somethings that i really want to blog about but too long. LOLS!

felt really happy, or rather it is more of relieve, i do not have that burden on me now.

but the lack of sleep really made me a bit ~
i heard somethings, and i felt really sad, all sorts of thoughts came.
i supposed there is never a right way or best way to handle it.
maybe i am too tired, that explains why i find it a bit hard to digest.

sleeep.

i am glad i did not give up till the end, many tell me it is difficult, my mum kept saying give up (but still wakes me up for my lesson). a pass should be feasible.

no one online to chat

2010-10-28T00:22:00.005+08:00

i cant wait to go k on sun!

wanna eat many many stuffs too!!!
famous amos cookies, macarons, chips!
i am afraid that i will fall sick this time, so i didn't eat chips nor chocolate during my late night mugging~ i want my snacks!!!! LOLS! after exams on sat, gonna get them!! x)

i am pretty glad i am where i am right now, i think i always saw the positive side after awhile.
i wasn't too happy when i got into dba, that was what i wanted too, but i would prefer dmat. but i realise after a few months that i am not in the wrong place... dmat is just music related, but sound engineer won't be what i want... i can't take those sound waves thing, calculation etc.. i guess what attracts me then is the vocal part and composing, which is only a minor of the whole course. so i guess i am lucky =)

i think my uni life now ain't as stress as poly, seriously. the hours are way shorter, and it is just so different. more importantly, i can take up more commitments and engage myself into more things. which i think, is good. i supposed that was what i wanted as well, and not really tiring myself out all the time.

i just hope for the best in everything =)

contemplating whether to go for ss3 or not... what i am waiting for!!! but i am thinking twice now. =( mum is right, wo yao de dong xi tai duo. maybe i will forgo, yeas~ most probably, after hearing that, there are more things to come which i should be worried about. let me think~

i believe everything happen for a reason.
the worst has yet to come? perhaps.
but i do cherish what i have now, i think i am lucky, i am fortunate..
i don't think i need a lot of stuffs to be happy, i am who i am and i am happy!
despite anything, any down moments, any worries, any negative stuffs, i am still happy.
i think they are inevitable in life and they don't make life that that that miserable, do they?
all will past.

i think it is the mindset.
and i guess some trips and some stories left an impact on me.
at least i am a healthy person and i have a lot to give.
and i am guilty, because i am not giving much..
no more community work after cambodia...
i do miss the times there, simple, enjoyable.
i miss the kids there..

i do count my blessings more often now.
it is pretty contradicting, i learn to be contented but at the same time i am wanting and asking for more things. hahas!

2 more papers!
1 that i really worked hard for, i think i did not put in my 101% effort, but there were really struggles at the start.. to squeeze everything into my brain in that short 3 months. i feel so demoralize after every lesson until i start doing past year papers. lols!

it will always be one thing after another, and i don't think i want this cycle to stop.
there should always be things to look forward to. and especially little steps towards my goals, little steps yes, but at least not stagnant. =)

but maybe i should stop my last min habit, LOLS!

power nap

2010-10-25T04:51:00.002+08:00

the 2 hour nap this evening was indeed POWER.

i am still wide awake now, i am not tired at all~
i thought i would feel tired and sleep for another few hours before i cont on the last 2 topic...
my brain is super saturated now but i am not tired at all.

i hope
hope
hope
hope for the best.

想失败就真的会失败

2010-10-21T02:39:00.002+08:00

仗还没打就输了一半
怎么行？

i don't care.
i know my own capability.
it is within my means.

this is an excuse, a bad habit.

whatever~

lalalalalalalalalalalalalalala

fruitful weekend

2010-10-18T01:40:00.002+08:00

busy weekend.
new things.
new commitments.

but i like! hehes!

felt really nervous and worried, but it all went well. at least for the start.
more to come, and in order to handle everything well, hard work is needed..

i don't feel that i am up to it, but i want to go for it.
just try lo?
confidence. that is what everyone tell me. even those that i am not close with.
i appreciate it, i guess so too? =)
easier said than done, but it is not impossible.

will try my best?
ok i can't screw up my school exam. lols!
it was my parent's wish but also my own desire to pursue a degree.
so i can't let myself down.

i am told since young that the reason why i need to study is for myself, so i do not have any reward from my parents in any form even when i score well or anything. i don't usually get nagged for not studying or whatever, at least not when i was younger. so i always do not have that kind of "for my parents" kind of mentality. i think it is the way i am brought up. but i know ultimately, i don't want to disappoint them, and i don't want to be a worry to them. i am not an adult yet, but since n years ago, i had my own thinking, my own opinion. (to start with, i always have a lot of opinion ever since i know how to talk LOLS) i am glad, to a certain extend, i can make my own choice. in fact i think whatever choice i make, my parents will accept it in the end. hahas! mum kept asking me to give up since i forgot when, but lols,exam is 2 weeks away, and i am quite certain, if nothing goes wrong, i will continue with my guitar for at least another year. x)

i do hope for the best.

everything is going well. at least i don't think certain setback at times are something.
normal and inevitable.

take whatever that comes.
"to see life as fun and take it if we can" -ode to my family.

think less and do more!
觉得我不够努力，没有那时的那种冲劲。
还可以更好，要更努力！

i am not a believer of practice makes perfect.
practice only makes permanent.
it is perfect practice that makes perfect.

perfect itself does consist of flaws.
nothing is really flawless.

i am a perfectionist, but i do tolerate imperfection.
i have my own definition towards perfect, you?

no fighting spirit

2010-10-15T01:10:00.002+08:00

too slack alreadyyyyyy~

this is not the wayyy....

ok

bye.

i want a new guitar!!

2010-10-14T01:45:00.002+08:00

i love my current guitar but i want a new one! LOLS!!
100% handcrafted guitar!!!!

current one is half handcrafted~

alright, supposed my current love is sufficient for exams already. not a must to get a new one like the previous time..

wanted very much to have a 100% handcrafted guitar.. (made in spain)

well~ will get that when i can finance myself without raising capital from my parents. hehes!

handcrafted guitar is simply too attractive. hahas!!
the sound it produce is really beautiful!!

a few more years!! :)

我希望有一天

2010-10-11T23:49:00.001+08:00

真心的希望

有一天......

my little secret

2010-10-11T00:19:00.002+08:00

all i have to do now is not waste anymore time!!!

watched the suzuka race today, from lap 30 onwards. yeas!! VETTEL!! hehehehes! =p
i like his reply in the q&a session. hahas!

NO MORE SLACKING!
gogogo! =)

funniest dream id ever had

2010-10-08T22:53:00.002+08:00

once i thought about what i've dreamt last night, i wanna burst into laughter!!
funniest dream ever. lols!
way better than dreaming about bad or weird stuffs.
kept laughing over it. hahahahaas!

i think i've been slacking a lot.
guilty..

will try to squeeze those terms into my pea-sized brain.

it is still a great week.
spending time with my ah ma, enjoyable.
many funny moments too!
i didn't know my house is that warm. LOLS!
i can't understand why she still think it is bored. well~

don't make me fall for you.
LOLS!

i have awesome friends.

2010-10-06T00:55:00.006+08:00

i don't like to keep things to myself..
but i don't go around telling everyone everything about me.

i do voice out my thoughts and feelings pretty often.
but there are certain things, i only tell them to certain people.

if there are things that i don't want people to know, i won't even mention them in the first place.

i am thankful for those that falls under the tell it all category. super random me will drop super random msg most of the time. i must admit, i have friends who really accommodate me to great extent. hahas!

they are amazing.
yep. i think i really have a few very very wonderful friends.
"they believe in me more than i do. they have more confident than me in myself."
if not for them. hahas!

i appreciate it when they never ask me to give up and understand me very well.
giving me support and also, many times, the strength to go on.

they know who they are.
they never leave.
and i am grateful, i have these friends. yep, not this friend, but these friends.
i shan't continue further, there's so much that i can say.

simply,
to all dearest super awesome friends of mine
thanks, i love all of you x)

my desired happiness

2010-10-05T00:50:00.004+08:00

pls endure.

2010-09-29T19:14:00.002+08:00

don't know why i fell sick! =(
terrible!!!

i fell sick when i need to do mr report too! now its er! OH NO! =(

i don't think im unlucky or what, but i am very worried.
yeas.

got so many things to do ok?!
i don't want to think or worry too much now.

i will try my best to do what i can, and hopefully i don't fail.
just try my best to do what i can and submit it on time.
yep.

sighs.
im trying hard not to dwell on it, no point. might as well try to do.
try to focus. kept feeling tired..

i think i worry too much thats why i fell sick? i slept so much during the weekends, but i still fell sick!

hope for the best.
can't give up, at least must submit something, and of an acceptable quality.

JIAYOU!!!!

ER ER ER

2010-09-26T18:07:00.005+08:00

super lazy!!

i don't wanna read.

3000 words report in 2 weeks is no joke ok.
further more in the first week there is tutorial everyday!

am left with less than 1 week now~

just do!!!

otherwise i do not have to sleep for the next few days already.

i miss my ah ma!
can't wait for the study break! got her quite a lot of things. hehes! =)

watching f1 later!! =)
alonso got the pole position, but im rooting for button. hahas!!!!

ok, might not be able to watch already =(

beautiful sunday morning

2010-09-26T11:02:00.002+08:00

=)

slept a lot.

did guitar stuffs.
but not my report.

can't slack anymore~
1 more week to finish the report and i barely started~~~

=/

kept wanting to sleep!! lols!

quite a number of things to do,
but last min work ain't something new to me right?
hope i can be productive!

all the italian terms are worrying me a lot.
ok i shall leave it to next week alright.
sometimes, i do blame myself for wasting my time. but...
i just can't do it lor! -_-

just can't waste anymore time lo! hahahas!

i don't want to think too much, don't want to worry too much.

为爱永远不低头

2010-09-18T17:46:00.002+08:00

我是一个为爱永远不低头的人
至少到现在为止是如此。

哈哈

我希望将来也是。

请尊重我的选择。

love-hate relationship

2010-09-16T21:47:00.003+08:00

nightmare is starting soon.
intensive guitar lesson again, like AGAIN?! =(
ok im very mean, my guitar teacher don't mind and here i am complaining.
i rmb vividly how i drag my feet to lesson last year. and sometimes also dragging my guitar along, hahas! the guitar at the music school is really~ ya. not the quality, but the condition. lols.

but i do enjoy playing guitar, sometimes i really don feel like practicing, looking at the score, figuring out etc.. but it is still nice. esp when i master the song well,then it is truly enjoyable. hahahas! and i like moving my finger on the frets, though sometimes it is too fast and too far, then i really complain a lot. thinking that it is so tough, i cant play it... hahas!

i am very certain,
what i want.

so yeas.

expectations...
try my best ba.

lalalas.
one more report!

Distractions

2010-09-15T00:21:00.001+08:00

ahhhhh x(
kept playing game!!!

i know if my guitar teacher knew about this, he will~
=/

for once i feel ok after lesson, not demoralized or anything.
past year paper was ok, manageable i supposed.
but that is if i memorize everything and stop referring to the 5 mi ji(s).

i can say a lot, but not of much use i supposed?
self discipline!!! very much needed.

i don encourage people to give up, because i don't give up easily.
but i did thought of somethings..
我不知道那时为什么会说放弃，到现在我都不明白那时哪来的冲动让我说出放弃这两个字，当心理根本都不是那么想的。我没有答案，也知道有些话一但说出便没有办法挽回。又或者有，我试过了，我有想要改变什么，但还是一样。所以就这样了，反正都是过去事了。
只是觉得奇怪，原来我是真的这么容易放弃的人。
如果只关我一人，不管多少人劝我，我都很难放弃。
所以执著了那么久。

i just hope that good friend of mine won't give up. =）

the same goes to myself.
hahas!
it is a vicious cycle that sometimes we lead ourselves in.
knowing very well but kept doing otherwise.
why?

i don't live up to other's expectations, but my very own.
i supposed i need to work harder, i still did not put in my best to achieve what i wanted.
it is time.
play hard and work hard.

i need to make sure i don't let myself down, and those that support me and believe in me.
i don't want to disappoint them...
i am still not performing my standard.

work harder.

and i feel like practicing guitar now, yes at 1am.
=D

hehes!

2010-09-10T20:52:00.004+08:00

yeas!!! happy happy!

cut my hair!
love it,
be it nice or not or whatever, i love it. x)

short. but i think not really THAT short, acceptable.
hehes!

and and! my uncle gonna give me an i touch!! YEAS!! x)
he got it for free. hahas!
something i always wanted but never thought of getting one, too exp ok. LOLS!
hehehehehes!
x)

can't slack anymore!!!
got to finish somethings.
gogogo.

get started

2010-09-10T00:27:00.002+08:00

#ZodiacFacts The hardest part of a #Capricorns journey is simply for them to get started

like totally?!

LOLS!

i've slack so much after completing the report.
guitar itself is ok, finishing first piece. 2nd piece seems to be quite tough, fast tempo! LOLS! looking forward to 3rd piece, extremely tough piece which is really above my level, but i just have this thing towards tremolo i think. i love playing harmonic and tremolo a lot, i dont know why. LOLS! "hammer and pull" also la, but i just cant play them well. need to hammer really really hard to produce the sound, at times it is really irritating!!! there is this note that still can't be heard, i need to try harder. LOLS!!! like approx a year later, but i got to start now. and i am.. i find practicing guitar daily ok, easier than doing theory daily. but the thought of having to play the 1st piece for another year or so is not very motivating. LOLS! will get sian of it. =/

theory is a killer, seriously... to me, it is.
to finish 1 book per week is like~ in the end i always postpone my lesson, so it is like 2 weeks for 1 book. but for the last 2 books, i did selective qns. hahahas! past year papers now! finally! like weeks ago i've been told that everyone has started on it already. i was quite worried then, but the very first thought was, "how am i going to start doing paper when i've yet to cover the full syllabus?" 2 BIG PROB! too many things to memorize, and i might not be able to finish the paper in time. i really need to think through every qn, everything again and again. those chords, intervals, keys, etc... doesn't come to my mind right away. my pea sized brain =(

iii... had enough rest, or maybe rest is never enough.
i got a little time on hand to play now....
but please work hard when you need to ok?
LOLS!

you can only stop for that long, any longer will meant... missing things.

throw away all the negative stuffs.
all the way. x)

我要剪短发！

2010-09-09T00:41:00.002+08:00

i wanna cut my hair!!
even shorter..
ahahahahas!!

i know short hair is not very suitable... but i just wanna have a super short hair,
for once?! LOLS!

i don really care if it is going to be nice or not leh..
i just want my hair to be short. LOLS!

trying to convince my mum. ahahahahas!!!

she has been mentioning about my birthday too.
ok it seems pretty long still, but yeas~
i don't know why but i have that idea.
many many reason though.
i don't really know what i want as well, mum say everyone celebrate ma, so she will celebrate for me. sometimes it is not very nice to have ur birthday falling like on the first few days of the month and whats more, first month of the year. 21st is definitely significant to me. =) and i always enjoy my birthday every year. x)

hahas!
anyway, i found out that i can complete one of the item in my 2010 new year resolution! okok, i manage to complete a few i think, but that is something that i always wanted to do!! HEHEHEHES! awesome! consider that as a birthday gift to myself. (need some time, by then it is will be just in time I THINK.) will show it to you guys! think so. hahahas!

beautiful rings..

self discipline

2010-09-07T21:48:00.004+08:00

a good break i supposed.
but still, i want to slack!!!
lols!
just slack.
watch all the shows that ive missed,
catch up with all the videos etc.

hahahas! when can i do that?

self discipline!!!

i have to bear in mind the consequences of my action.
if i continue to slack,
i will not make it.
so yeas~

there's a time for everything.
i've spent time slacking and resting for the past few days.
need to get back to work, just get back and i will forget about wanting to have fun.

i wonder.
i truly wonder.

and i just wanna slack!! LOLS!!! =p

ok, im hoping that i can find this ring that i really like, but i think it is like way too many season ago, cant find it anymore.... since i dint get it then, well~ forget it lo.

low batt

2010-09-05T01:48:00.002+08:00

LOLS!

busy with several stuffs.
but nevertheless i did had fun too!

caught a great concert.
spent awesome time with friends.

extremely tired!

i hope for the best.
=)

2 months

2010-09-01T23:25:00.002+08:00

2 months, 2 months, 2 months!!!

only 2 months!!
2 months left!!!
only 2 months left!!!
only left with 2 months!!!

i don't know which is the most appropriate one that i wanna use. LOLS!

endure.

2010-08-30T20:59:00.003+08:00

just when i want to settle down, cramps!!!
really very bad.

took pain killers and i can still feel the pain.
oh no!

ok, i got to finish up my part for the report today
like must!

hope i can.

many many thoughts once again,
i guess they will always be there.
until end of oct.

it doesn't get any better, as it is getting nearer, everything just goes up instead of going down.
LOLS!

same old thing.

everything will get better and better =)

muscle ache

2010-08-29T17:32:00.003+08:00

nevertheless it was really fun, miss playing badminton pretty much. hahas!
miss almost all the overhead though, i dont know why!!! =(
do miss those training days, can't imagine i used to exercise that much once. LOLS!

many many things to do,
now i risk not being able to finish my stuffs again.
but i supposed i really need to have fun and catch up with some friends.

ive had my fair share of fun for the past 2 days
time to work hard again!
sleep lesser!

remember?

2010-08-24T00:40:00.002+08:00

do you remember having 4 days of guitar lesson, dragging your feet to class, travel to different places for lesson... at the same time, there is school work, rushing projs, exams and everything. no matter how tired you are?

remember?

and you know what?
you managed to make it then?
have you forgotten?

whatever it is, overcome.

i shan't deny

2010-08-23T21:10:00.003+08:00

i do need a lot of encouragement.

some really gave me all the time, i appreciate it.
it matters a lot to me.
i know it is all about my own will, but with all the encouragement and support, i am motivated....

appreciate.

comfort.

i don't like to feel that i am on my own, even though very true, i am doing it on my own, but support matters a lot to me. and i know, the few close ones will always be there.

<3

jia you jia you!! x)

obstacles

2010-08-22T23:27:00.001+08:00

the key is to overcome them again and again, one after another.

every week will be a new obstacle, different things to accomplish...
i can't wait for everything to be over.
after october, everything will be better.

endure.
overcome.

runaway.

2010-08-22T22:48:00.000+08:00

sometimes, i hope i can really run away from this whole thing.

escape.
yea.

take the first step

2010-08-22T12:44:00.003+08:00

i supposed the first step is always the hardest to take. supposed.

i took it, it was alright for the start, but as the difficulty increase, it seems like the very very first step is not enough, every step is a new step and the difficulty level is like that first initial step. i supposed every process requires a "first step approach".

i miss my clique!!!! (both sec sch n poly)
pretty sad, my 2 close friends that stay near me are going to stay in hostel, i can't meet them as and when anymore!!! =(

i don't know when will this stop, like seriously....
ok.

我很想放弃，真的。
可是我知道我会后悔，
辛苦一点，撑下去吧。
加油！

be strong =)
i hope.

Vicious cycle

2010-08-19T22:51:00.002+08:00

i can go round and round, and never get out.

theory is a killer.
seriously.

i must rant! LOLS!
all the major, minor. and why there is 2 type? melodic, harmonic.
relative minors, all the sharps and flats.
intervals, grouping of notes.
different time signature. ok and the list goes on....
but i think the best parts are still clefs and terms.
treble is already a trouble for me, i always read c and d wrongly (I DONT KNOW WHY!) bass was really a hassle, i literally count. and now, alto, tenor. WIN!
pea-sized brain can't rmb all the italian terms, and deng deng deng, more great news, there are french and german terms too.

awesome right.

i might fail if i continue at this rate.
but "it is still too early to give up."
so i won't.

try, work harder, put in more effort.

harder, harder.

please, work harder.
for your own sake.

promise.

the reason why

2010-08-18T00:47:00.002+08:00

there's a reason why i refuse to give up.
(there's a reason behind everything, no?)

i know this is what i want.

i hope i don't waste my very own hard earn money.
all my music exam fee or music exam related fees (aural, theory, additional lesson or materials) are paid by my own savings that i saved up when i work part-time (the reason why i work).

i must make it.
i don't care.

the goal is clear.
keep the mind clear as well.

x)

jiayoujiayoujiayou!!!

好朋友

2010-08-17T23:10:00.001+08:00

可怕的是心魔，越不过的是心墙。

好朋友一句贴心话
翻不过的心墙至少被开了几扇窗
让勇气落了叶还能又开花

:)

Deciso.

2010-08-15T22:35:00.002+08:00

The thing is, i paid for a one way thing.
so i cant turn back or anything,
once i've decided on it, i have to go ALL THE WAY, and i will.

so the 2 weeks of study break was more of a~ eh i don't know. falling sick for a week, and feeling so stressed up for another. HAHAS!

i do need some time.
and this time it is taking a bit long,
i don't know why.

perhaps, it is tougher, and that explains all the worries and fears.
but they don't help.

i believe in....
ok, im turning in x)
school reopens tml!

its a choice.

i know it won't be easy when i first make this decision, but i still choose to go ahead,
therefore, i must press on.

hehees.

lalalas.

Emo

2010-08-14T19:00:00.002+08:00

tired.
ok i don't know why either.

lesson later, cant finish my work.
sighs.

i cant ask for a break, i already had one when i was sick.

i do deserve a scolding.
but no, i didn't see it as a joke..
i don't want to give up, and i hope my teacher won't give up on me as well. =(

better try to do what i can now.
even though i can hardly concentrate, really tired~
leave everything after the lesson.

keep going

2010-08-13T23:35:00.003+08:00

i thought i will just forget about guitar and theory for today, was really tired...
but decided to pract guitar for awhile,
and ok, im awake now~

only slept for 3 hours?
i hope i can kick my last min habit.

i don't know if my time management is considered good or bad.
i always do last min work, but the thing is i always manage to finish on the dot.
not well done, but ok, its over!

im still unwell~
rushin the assignment these few night made it worst.
~~

glad i have all the good friends around me.
giving me support, encouragement and even helping me in my work.
i have awesome friends x)

i know if i refuse, no one can force me to do it.
but the thing is, it is not very encouraging to always have this negative voice from someone whom you care. i know where you are coming from, but sorry.

ok, im turning in.
theory day tml.

press on! =)

fri, 4pm.

2010-08-11T23:06:00.002+08:00

everything will be alright.

it is going to be fine.

even though.. now... i wanna cry.

this is stupid.

i will just believe.
keep believing.

try my best.

because there is expectations and its sad when you know~
but alright.
it is still on my hand,
i can still work hard for it.

i will finish everything on time.
perhaps the process will be really tough,
but hello~ im not defeated easily ok.

请你不要放弃，请你一定要继续努力，努力努力再努力。
加油！

amt of work for past 2 hrs > entire daytime

2010-08-11T02:12:00.003+08:00

ok, i wasted my whole morning and noon, progressing really slow and not productive!!!

i managed to do a bit for the past 2 hours, more than what i did during daytime~

ok my shoulder aching~~~

at least i started doing a bit,
a bit more motivated now x)

HOPE CAN FINISH ON TIME!

JIA YOU JIA YOU!